I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
