my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
