I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
