When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
