You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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