I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
