you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
