She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
