Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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