So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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