Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
