you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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