Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
