Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
