my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Randomize
