So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
