in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
