I love black thongs
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
