its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
