Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
