Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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