I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
