i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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