Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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