If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we made out on top of his cat.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
