So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
