Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize