Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In other news, I just burned my penis
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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