your parents love me but you hate me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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