Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
