if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
