just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
