I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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