No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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