I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
