playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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