she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
barbara walters just said penis...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
