You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I cannot find my penis.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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