i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
is that a dick in a sweater?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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