the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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