margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
