you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
