school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
