You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
