we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
