Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
