we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
