Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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