He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
