you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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