and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
