to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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