The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
