I am in a vortex of obligation.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
