You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
